(no subject)
Dec. 23rd, 2011 03:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
onepageatatimeI'm at the "Gulp" stage of Christmas prep.
Last choir rehearsal was last night. It was...a stretch...I had people saying "I've never seen this before" on Christmas hymns straight from the hymnal that I've been singing for as long as I can remember. I had the small choir I was expecting (since this seems to be the year everybody in my choir is visiting relatives out of town, a "danger" of the season that's striking harder than usual this year for this choir), with none of the extra people that I had expected would be with us based on family members' tellings.
I don't know. I just don't know.
I keep trying to figure out some sort of way I could shuffle off some of the headaches of planning Christmas, so that I don't end up in an anxious and unChristmasy mess. But I haven't hit on a division that (a) would work, and (b) wouldn't feel like a complete abdication of my responsibilities.
And I'm beginning to feel pissed off that I don't have time or money (or a job where I could take this time of year off) to be with family this year. Last time I saw any of my family in person was at the blessing of our marriage (which was 20 months ago now). Last time I saw anybody other than my parents? Before I left Canada, three years ago next week.
I just woke up at 3:30am, even though I didn't get to sleep until about midnight, and even though I'm still dead tired. But the brain was in full racing mode: too many details for Christmas.
Today's supposed to be crazy: too much running around to do, and hope that tonight's singalong Messiah trip is (as it's intended to be) a net gain of energy and not just expending energy).
And to top everything off, I feel like I'm coming down with something. Sigh. I hope it's just stress, and not some sort of bug. Because then there's hope it'll go away when the stress level drops.
Last choir rehearsal was last night. It was...a stretch...I had people saying "I've never seen this before" on Christmas hymns straight from the hymnal that I've been singing for as long as I can remember. I had the small choir I was expecting (since this seems to be the year everybody in my choir is visiting relatives out of town, a "danger" of the season that's striking harder than usual this year for this choir), with none of the extra people that I had expected would be with us based on family members' tellings.
I don't know. I just don't know.
I keep trying to figure out some sort of way I could shuffle off some of the headaches of planning Christmas, so that I don't end up in an anxious and unChristmasy mess. But I haven't hit on a division that (a) would work, and (b) wouldn't feel like a complete abdication of my responsibilities.
And I'm beginning to feel pissed off that I don't have time or money (or a job where I could take this time of year off) to be with family this year. Last time I saw any of my family in person was at the blessing of our marriage (which was 20 months ago now). Last time I saw anybody other than my parents? Before I left Canada, three years ago next week.
I just woke up at 3:30am, even though I didn't get to sleep until about midnight, and even though I'm still dead tired. But the brain was in full racing mode: too many details for Christmas.
Today's supposed to be crazy: too much running around to do, and hope that tonight's singalong Messiah trip is (as it's intended to be) a net gain of energy and not just expending energy).
And to top everything off, I feel like I'm coming down with something. Sigh. I hope it's just stress, and not some sort of bug. Because then there's hope it'll go away when the stress level drops.